Children's Character and Children's Parenting

A few weeks ago, some teenagers broke into my place while I was sleeping and stole my wallet. I do not hate them; I feel sorry for them. These kids come from bad backgrounds, and many of them actually want to get caught because they would have it better in jail than they do at home.

There are some people who believe that children are “tabula rasa” (“a blank slate”) and mirror the behavior of their parents. There are others who think that everyone comes to the world with their own karma and that they choose the circumstances of their lives according to that. I do not think that any of the above is true. Children come with their own propensities that often differ vastly from those of their parents. And of course their upbringing also has a large role in them becoming what they are.

When I was a child, I was very unhappy and did not care what I looked like. My daughter has always been very happy, and she's been a fashion princess since she was 3. She got the best from both sides of her family. She is a very beautiful child, and she is also very intelligent. The people who think that races should not mix are refuted by her case. She is part-Jewish, part-Irish and part-German; and she has the best genetics of anyone I have known.

What is the child's basic character and what is her influences? It appears that both have a large role. The role of the parent is to create the best manifestation of what they are given with in a child. It is to find ways in which her propensities can take place the best way. And it is also to make sure that the child does not go wrong.

I have heard it said that the world would be a better place if people acted in accordance with such theories as Confucianism. I do not see why that would make the world a better place at all. Children frequently differ from their parents in many respects. This is the case for example with me and my daughter. If a child has gifts in a different area from where their parents have gifts, then the solution is to allow the child the fullest expression of these gifts.

I would not dream of telling my daughter what she could do with her life. The only two things I do not want her to become is a criminal or a punching bag. So far she has shown no propensities in either direction. I do not even have to punish her. When she does something wrong, I explain to her why it is wrong, and she does not do it any more.

I've always been tortured, but my daughter hasn't been. Yet she has all the intelligence that I do if not more. She also has a lot of innate wisdom. Her first social interaction, at age 1, was coming up to another little girl and giving her a hug. When I talked to her about yuckie people, she said that there are no yickie people. It is rare to see such wisdom in a child. She is definitely not a tabula rasa. She has her own character that differs from mine in many ways.

Did she choose me as her father? I do not know if she did. Did these teenagers also choose their parents as well? Was it their karma to do so? Or is this something that simply happened?

With Christianity, we see different explanations. There is the claim that personality resides in the flesh, and there is the claim that personality resides in the soul. Now many Christians say that the flesh comes from the Satan; but they do not say where the souls come from. Did God create the souls? Or if not then how come they came about?

Any parent knows that children come in with all sorts of propensities. And most people know that upbringing also has a large role in children becoming what they become. There is the innate character, and there is the parenting. Both are significant. Be a good parent, but do not expect that the child will be like you.