Free Spirited Women and Abuse

Having known any number of free-spirited women who have had bad experience in relationships, I have an explanation for why their experience has been this bad.

Men are attracted to free-spirited women; however what these woman are is against their values. They want and they hate at the same time. And this combination always leads to abuse.

The direction of psychology has been concerned with raising these women's self-esteem. I find that to be a goose chase. There will always be someone to tear down whatever self-esteem you build up; and getting these women to work on their self-esteem is generally unproductive.

What is productive? Getting these women to be conscious of the dynamics involved. They are attractive, and they are hated, at the same time. They should be made aware of these dynamics, so that they know how to deal with the men who are attracted to them and hate them at the same time.

When values and likes are in discord, the result is misery for everyone involved. The man wants and he hates at the same time; which is bad both for him and for the woman. The solution is to either bring one's likes in accord with one's values or to bring one's values in accord with one's likes. Man should either pursue women for whom he has respect, or man should modify his values to respect the women to whom he is attracted.

Happiness is a function of one's likes and one's values being in accord with one another; and a man whose values and likes are in disagreement with one another dooms himself and his partner to a life of misery. Either respect and value free-spirited women, or go with a traditional type of woman. Happiness – for oneself and one's partner – demands nothing less.