Goodwill and Slanders

Probably the most maddening situation is when you bear good will toward someone else, but they bear ill will toward you.

There were many people in the former Soviet Union and Communist China who bore good will toward the revolution, only to find that the revolution wanted them in the gulag. For a long time I bore good will toward feminism, only to find that feminism uncompromisingly hated me. I have born good will toward any number of people only to have them viciously attack me.

In most such situations, the correct solution is not to bear such people good will any more.

I have been called all sorts of ridiculous things. I have been called a sociopath. That is ridiculous; my score on the sociopath dimension was less than that of an average person. I have also been called a misogynist. That too is ridiculous; a misogynist will not write three books of poetry for three different women. Obviously perceptions of many people are very wrong – in some cases precisely wrong. Represent things as their opposites. Tell a Big Lie, and eventually people will believe it.

Now I have at all times in my life had a hunger for contributing meaningfully. I ended up contributing all sorts of things, for some of which I was recognized and for others of which I was not. If I had been a sociopath or anything of the sort I would have not had such an interest.

Ultimately I wish harm to nobody. There are however all sorts of people whom I see doing wrong things, whom I seek to correct in their behavior. At this point in my life, this particularly relates both to feminist women who act in a vicious manner and to men who believe it their right to beat women.

Now unlike those people, I do not wish to see any of them dead, and I do not wish to see any of them in jail. I want them to correct their behavior. It is wrong that a man would go to jail for “beating up his wife's fist with his face.” It is also wrong that a man would break his wife's skull so badly that she needs 40 stitches and get full custody of the child. On both sides we see very vicious injustices; and both sides are in the wrong.

I started out on the Left, but I've moderated my views as I got older. I used to believe that women were better than men; I do not believe that any more. I did not change my stance to misogyny, as have any number of others. I changed my stance to one of reason. Anything human – male or female – is capable of choice; and anything capable of choice can be good or bad.

When my goodwill toward women was met with very aggressive ill will by American feminists, that motivated me to change my standpoint. I did not move to misogyny; I moved to reason and moderation. I came to the realization that neither gender is better or worse than the other; and that both men and women can be good or bad.

Once again, ultimately I bear ill will toward nobody, even American feminists. I want them to change their ways. I want them to stop being vicious and to become better human beings. The same is the case with the father's lobby, some of whom have been posting slanders against me and my former wife. Unlike them, I want none of them dead, and I want none of them in jail. I want them to improve their behavior.

I got attacked very badly by feminism-influenced women, and my former wife is getting attacked very badly by the father's lobby. In both cases precisely the wrong people are being attacked. I started out with good will toward women, and my former wife started out with good will toward men. Neither side has either the guts or the power to reach real perpetrators. Instead they attack people whom they think they can attack. Their behavior is worse than cowardly.

Once again, I do not want to see either party dead or in jail. I want them to improve their behavior. It is wrong that feminists attack me when men all around the world – and in many parts of America – are going around beating up women and raping kids. It is also wrong that the father's lobby attack my ex-wife when genuinely vicious women are doing horrible things to their men and whatever men they think they can attack. Neither of us deserve that kind of attention. Many others do.

I have said this before, and I will say this again. I seek to bring sanity to gender relations. I want people to have a sense of perspective on this and any number of other issues. There are miles to go between getting into an argument with one's wife and breaking her skull. I want real abuse confronted, and I want regular argument situations to be left alone.

Now a moderate stance will of course get negative attention from the extremists on both sides. However it is a sane stance, and one that carries much greater promise. Conflict in relationships is inevitable; brutality is not. Refraining from brutality is a matter of character. And if I, having been demonized by feminists and any number of others, can refrain from being abusive in a relationship with a woman who has likewise been demonized, then so can any other man.