Refuting Verbal Poison

I have heard it stated repeatedly by people experiencing both physical and verbal abuse that verbal abuse is worse. I have never had serious violence in my life, but I have been subjected to poison from many people. The wrong things that people say stay in my head until I find ways to refute them. In the meanwhile they confuse me and also provide a let-in for nasty types to use against me.

I do not know if this is the case for everyone. In my case it does not always work for the worse. I pick up on wrong things that people believe; I examine them further; then I understand their mindset. And then I can look at the whole mindset and see just where it has gone wrong.

So there have been people pushing on me Sigmund Freud, so I found ways to deconstruct him (https://sites.google.com/site/ilyashambatwritings/psychology). Then there have been people pushing on me Adler and his idea of “adequacy,” so I took that apart as well (https://sites.google.com/site/ilyashambatthought/the-evil-concept-of-adequacy). And then there have been people claiming my attitude to be based in “narcissism.” It is based in no such thing. It is perfectly rational and realistic in light of the statements I've heard from my teachers and a number of others.

I've also done this with various statements that had nothing to do with me personally. When I read screed of anti-semites, I refute it, as I well should. I put in a lot of mental and emotional effort into what I do. It is not easy. It is quite unpleasant to have in your head the mindsets of people who hate you or the people who are aggressive and obnoxious, but maybe fighting things such as anti-semitism is worth the bother.

Now physical violence is illegal, but I do not think that it will ever be possible to outlaw verbal violence. It is protected as free speech. The solution then becomes figuring out rightful ways to deal with it. My method, once again, is deconstruction. Refute it. And if you cannot refute it, find out if is true. Not all negative things that people say are without merit. However do not admit poison into your structure, and do not allow people to drag you into the dirt.

The biggest problem with this kind of poison is, once again, that it stays in one's head. That is a source of confusion and vulnerability. In many cases it causes wrongful decisions to be made. It is crearly a worse problem than physical violence, except in situations that the physical violence is severe. Once again, I see no way that such a thing can be handled legally. It can however be handled mentally, and I hope that people capable of such things reach out to those who need their attention and help them to see through whatever poison they have been dealt.

I heard a lot about “wounded healers”; but probably the best healers are people who have worked through their problems and understand how to help others with similar problems. In my case, I can help people see through the ugliness that they have been told, and I have seen the same capability in a number of others. Once again, I do not see how it would be possible to deal with such things legally. They can however be dealt with mentally. And then many others stand to benefit from one's work.