"Too good to be true"

In counseling women who have been victims of domestic violence, one line has been that, if something seems too good to be true, then it is.

The response is that this depends on what is one's reality marker. If someone's reality marker is set to the Holocaust, then anything will be too good to be true. If you are a beautiful and talented woman and all you get are arseholes, that's not reality. That's the case of things being too bad to be true.

If a woman has had bad experiences with men, it doesn't mean that the next man who comes along is going to behave in the same manner. There are plenty of decent men in the world. The solution is to cease identifying reality with malfeasance and realize the reality of the good things that one has to offer. Once that is done, one's reality marker is set in a more viable place, and one gets men who merit what one has to offer.