Tuesday, January 19, 2016

"Cheating", Feelings and Masculinity

I have always found it hard to understand why so many men take it so hard when the women that they are with have sexual relationships with other men. In my conversations with people from the so-called “redneck” constituency, the conversation starter is either “With all the taxes you are paying, don't you feel like you're living in a socialist country?” or “if I saw my wife in bed with another man, I would shoot them both.”

I had women in my life who had sexual relationships with other men; but I never shot them. I do not understand why so many men feel the temptation to do such a thing.

The men who have sex with many women are seen as studs; the women who have sex with many men are seen as sluts. I do not understand why this kind of standard exists. I say this as someone who was never into casual sex or promiscuity. The women I've been with, I either loved or they were my good friends.

Many of the same men who have been with many women sexually also have the same feelings regarding their wives or their long-term partners. Why is this? I've known any number of men who have had many sexual relationships who could not forgive their wives having affairs.

What is it really that motivates this behavior? I have seen men go on and on about how hurt they have been in these situations. Why are they hurt by this so much?

Maybe it is because they feel that they're not allowed to have feelings unless it is in a stable situation, and if the woman leaves or has other relationships then they feel that their heart is torn out. I believe that the solution toward that is to allow men to have feelings and not deny them as part of being masculine. The more this is done, the more the men are able to deal with their feelings, the less becomes the temptation for them to shoot their wives.


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