Wednesday, December 21, 2016

"Sex objects" and "sex predators"

One concept that deserves to be shot is that of "a sex object." Apparently there is something wrong with being appreciated for one's body. My response is that everyone - both men and women - have bodies, and bodies are objects. I am a man, and I have a fairly good physique. I find it flattering when people appreciate my body. That is even the case with people to whom I am not attracted, such as much older women and gay men.

Furthermore, there is nothing at all contradictory between being regarded sexually and other good forms of attention. It is possible to respect someone and be attracted to them at the same time. It is possible to appreciate someone both physically and mentally. In better relationships, there are both forms of attraction and appreciation. One can value the other personally and one can be attracted to them as well.

Another concept - one that has some merit, but that keeps getting misapplied - is that of the sexual predator. Apparently a man with supposed psychological problems seeking a relationship with a woman is a predator, and a woman with supposed psychological problems is a victim. In fact both are in the same boat. They are both people who have been branded, rightfully or wrongfully, with psychological problems. Neither is the predator, and neither is the victim.

Probably the only people who actually are sex predators are men who go after children and men who go for women who are more vulnerable than they are themselves. But if say a man with bipolar diagnosis goes after a woman with a bipolar diagnosis, there is no predation being perpetrated. One equal goes after another equal; which is exactly what is supposed to be happening in relationships.

Sexuality will always exist, as will romantic attraction. The solution is to work to make such things the best experience that they can be. The first step toward that is clearing up misconceptions on the subject; and I hope that any number of others do more toward that effect.


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