Focus In Love And Hate

A person with experience in psychology was talking today about a character in a movie who fixated so much upon someone he hated that he became like him.

I think that this is a common situation. The Communists and the Nazis hated each other, but they were quite similar to one another. We see the same thing in more recent conflicts.

As Nietzsche said, “if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.”

However I do not believe that the reason for this is hatred. Rather it is a matter of focus. Focusing on someone – either positively or negatively – creates a bridge in which their qualities become internalized. It is also possible to become like someone else through love. It is often remarked that old couples look like one another. They also tend to think like one another. They focus a lot of their attention on one another. The result is that they acquire similarity.

This is useful – quite useful. It may very well be for the better that more people focus on Jesus in order to become more like Him. It may very well be for the better that more people focus on ones whom they admire in order to become more like them. The more I focus on people I love, the more I become like them. The same is for the people I hate. The reason once again is not either hatred or love; the reason is focus.

Sometimes people hate others for traits that they dislike in themselves. Sometimes people love others for traits that they have, but more often for traits that they value. I do not believe, as some say, that hating another person is only done for traits that one does not accept in oneself; it is possible to hate someone who has nothing in common with oneself at all. There are many people who are hard-working who hate those who aren't hard-working. There are many people who are compassionate who hate those who are not. However the more focus is expended upon the other person, the more of a bridge is created, the more one becomes like them.

As someone who has a capacity for obsessive focus, I have intermingled essences with any number of people – in love, in hatred and in any number of other things. I got both good traits and bad traits through this process. Right now I am focusing on the best person that ever lived – Jesus Christ. I do not expect to become like Him; but I expect to become more like Him than I have been in the past.

If you want to become something good, then the best solution to that is to fixate on someone who is good. I have known any number of excellent people, and while I was seen for a long time as a bad person I have been improving the more I focus on them rather than on the people I dislike. Hating people continually makes you more like what you hate; doing more loving of people makes you more like what you love. The reason, once again, is focus. Focus – whether in hate or in love – creates a bridge with the next person, resulting in you becoming more like them.