Stalking And Domestic Violence

I may offend any number of people here by writing about this; but I believe that this is something that needs to be said and needed to be said for a long time.

For a long time, we have seen huge amount of attention paid to the issue of stalking. Much less attention has been paid to domestic violence. In fact domestic violence is a much bigger issue than stalking, and one that is far more harmful and to far more people.

Being stalked is flattering to the woman's ego. Someone is risking going to jail because he finds her attractive. Whereas there is nothing at all flattering about domestic violence. It is disempowering, it is humiliating and it is degrading.

A woman who is being stalked gets to feel like a winner. A woman who is being battered gets to feel like a loser. The world mirrors that back. If a woman is being battered, she is blamed for it and abused even more. If a woman is being stalked, she is the damsel in distress and the man who is doing it is an inhuman monster.

What we see here therefore is hideous hypocrisy. And in addition to hypocrisy we also see extreme cruelty. If you are borderline, you are disqualified from having relationships. If you are sociopath or narcissist, you are evil and can only be evil whatever you do, however hard you work and whatever work you do on yourself. The cruelty – as well as irrationality – of this is beyond what is ascribed to any narcissist or any sociopath.

We see the same people go on and on about how many people get traumatized through wrongful sexual practices. Oh yeah, and sex abuse victims own traumatization. Nobody else gets traumatized at all. In fact, with people who are genuinely traumatized, these people see them as psychos or damaged goods or bringing it about through low self-esteem or negativity in their consciousness.

The woman who gets flattering attention gets to pose as a damsel in distress; the woman who gets abusive attention is seen as a loser.

Well, you are a father, do you want your daughter getting stalked? Not particularly; but I would be upset a lot more if she wound up with a wife-beater. Getting away from a stalker is as easy as filing a restraining order. Whereas it is much harder – and in many cases impossible – to get away from a violent partner.

So we are seeing a lesser issue getting tons of attention, and a much greater issue getting much less attention.

Mark Twain said that there was never a truth that was not denied nor a lie that was not heartily believed in. His words remain true over a century after his death.