One of Michael Jackson's most famous efforts
was a song that went,
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways …
If you want to make the world a better
place,
Take a look at yourself, and then make
the change.
He was part-right.
Problems have different causes, and
they have different solutions. If the problem is with you, then
solving it means changing yourself. If the problem is with something
else, then that is where the effort should be directed. We have both
internal and external problems; and these are resolved through
internal or external action.
I used to have a problem of being
physically weak. I solved it by doing rigorous exercise. However me
working on myself would not begin to solve global warming, federal
debt or gender war. These problems are external to myself, and they
must be faced and solved as they are.
Working on yourself has two
positive effects. One is that it improves you. The other is that it
shows other people a better way to live. Both are valid endeavors.
When I maintained a good relationship with my former wife after she
left me, it was an action with positive effects besides to me and my
former wife. There were a number of people who were watching the
situation to see how it would go; and for it to have gone well showed
them that they do not need to crucify a partner if she should leave
them, and that it is possible to solve such problems in a humane and
civilized way.
However me, or Michael Jackson, or
anyone else, working on themselves will not solve problems such as
global warming and federal debt. These problems need to be solved
externally to ourselves.
AA's Serenity Prayer says, “God give
me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, courage to
change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
A Republican candidate in West Virginia wrote on his site, “I am no
longer accepting the things that I cannot change, I am changing the
things that I cannot accept.” He is right. Some things we should
not accept. Some things are not solved by working on yourself but on
working on the world. Sometimes you need to change the man in the
mirror. Sometimes you need to change something else.
So the wisdom here is the crucial part.
And it is very much possible to err in either direction. If the
problem is with you, then improve you. If the problem is with
something else, then make the change there. For most people there
will be a need for both directions. And they will be called upon to
have the wisdom to know what to do in what situation.
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