Sociopaths, Narcissists and Good Conduct
There are some people who are of the conviction that a sociopath
or a narcissist by definition cannot be a good person. This of course
militates against basic rationality. If people are responsible for
their behavior then anyone can act rightfully; and if some people
cannot act rightfully then people are not responsible for their
behavior.
As someone who's been described as everything from a humanitarian to a sociopath, I stand as living proof that anyone can choose to do the right thing. That is even the case with sociopaths and narcissists. If their heart fails to do the job, then bring in the mind to compensate; and in this way be a conscious source of righteous behavior.
I have found that there is more to recommend someone who came from a bad place to a good place than someone who's always been in a good place. The reason is that such a person is conscious of what it took for him to get to a good place and can communicate the same awareness to others. The people who've always been good should be admired for that; but there is also much to recommend someone who came from a bad place into a good place, and this needs to be stressed.
No psychologist or psychiatrist ever accused me of being a sociopath; in fact, even when I broached the subject the response always was, Absolutely not. But there have been any number of non-psychologists who accused me of sociopathy and narcissism and were very insistent about making these claims. The problem with people knowing a bit of psychology is that they think that they know the whole of psychology; and this leads them to behave in arrogant and destructive manner where they think that they speak for sanity and that everyone other than them is insane.
If you actually are a sociopath or a narcissist: There are ways to address your problem. Use your mind where the heart fails you and operate from a position of genuine caring and compassion. Intelligence has always been the true saving grace for humanity; and that is also the case for people who otherwise would behave terribly but are willing to make a choice to the contrary.
As someone who's been described as everything from a humanitarian to a sociopath, I stand as living proof that anyone can choose to do the right thing. That is even the case with sociopaths and narcissists. If their heart fails to do the job, then bring in the mind to compensate; and in this way be a conscious source of righteous behavior.
I have found that there is more to recommend someone who came from a bad place to a good place than someone who's always been in a good place. The reason is that such a person is conscious of what it took for him to get to a good place and can communicate the same awareness to others. The people who've always been good should be admired for that; but there is also much to recommend someone who came from a bad place into a good place, and this needs to be stressed.
No psychologist or psychiatrist ever accused me of being a sociopath; in fact, even when I broached the subject the response always was, Absolutely not. But there have been any number of non-psychologists who accused me of sociopathy and narcissism and were very insistent about making these claims. The problem with people knowing a bit of psychology is that they think that they know the whole of psychology; and this leads them to behave in arrogant and destructive manner where they think that they speak for sanity and that everyone other than them is insane.
If you actually are a sociopath or a narcissist: There are ways to address your problem. Use your mind where the heart fails you and operate from a position of genuine caring and compassion. Intelligence has always been the true saving grace for humanity; and that is also the case for people who otherwise would behave terribly but are willing to make a choice to the contrary.
posted by Ilya Shambat at 11:00 PM
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