To Hell With Gender War
I have heard it said that relationships are about equality. My question: Which relationships are about equality? Relationships are about no such thing. They are about whatever the people involved bloody want them to be about. Most relationships are about Christianity, or Islam, or Hinduism; many are about children; any number are about shared values and interests; and some are about romantic love. So why in the world should relationships be about equality?
The closest thing I've had to an equal relationship was with Melanie, my former wife; and that's not the relationship that I keep remembering the most. The relationship that I remember the most was my first one, when I was 19, with a slightly older woman named Michelle whom I loved hugely and still do, even though we were together for only a short period of time and she is now dead. It was in no way an equal relationship. I was absolutely in love with her, and she had all the real power. And she used it for good, getting me into exercise and classical music and motivating me to improve myself in all sorts of ways.
The idea of gender equality was tried in 1990s; and for the most part it was a failure. Most women did not like that way of life at all, nor did it give them power. Women were put in a race where they were second and could only be second, while denying them the place where they were first. So I heard from a butch Lesbian feminist graduate student a number of years ago that the women in traditional cultures had more real power than contemporary women, as they were in control of reproduction and sex whereas the women these days are under complete control of what she called a “male-dominated business culture.” Is that true? I do not know if it is true. But I did not invent this, nor did I get it from the patriarchy. I got it from a butch Lesbian feminist graduate student.
So what I've seen a number of smart women do is not take part of the rat race. Instead they got together with men, whom they treat nicely, who in return love them and take care of them. Their children love them as well because they are good to them. Whereas feminist women have bred a bunch of Eminems who hate their mothers – rightfully – and then wrongfully generalize their hatred on the whole female gender and treat their non-feminist girlfriends and wives as if they were their feminist mothers. And this is where we find the world at this time.
What is the solution to this? Not equality – no, to hell with the damn equality, it's been a massive failure. The solution is for men and women to treat one another right. Not men's violence toward women nor women's verbal and legal viciousness toward men should be tolerated. Women should be taught to be good to men, men should be taught to be good to women, and both should be confronted in case that they are not.
I refuse to let scum like Eminem or the Ayatollah or Michael Murphy claim to speak for me as a man. And I also refuse to let scum like Catherine McKinnon and Andrea Dworkin claim to speak for my daughter, my sister or my grandmother. The gender wars are run by the worst in both women and men; and there is absolutely no reason in the world why any man – or any woman – should listen to either side. They are scum. They are trash. They are pulling a power trip. They have no right to speak for 50% of humanity, nor is there reason for 50% of humanity to name them their leaders. To hell with the whole lot of them.
Neither the men nor the women deserve to win the gender war. The only people who deserve to win anything are women – and men – who choose to act rightfully toward their partners. Both men and women are capable of choice; and anything capable of choice is capable of both right choice and wrong choice. It is wrong to side with either gender – and thus abet all the people within it who choose to act wrongfully while oppressing the other gender even in its capacity for good. It is right to side with those who choose to act rightfully – both men and women – and not only assist them in making positive relationships with each other but also in making these better values count in society.
Right now we see the worst possible behavior being rewarded in both women and men, and better attitudes punished. Men nearest the liberal centers of learning and culture, who for the most part believe in women's rights and wish women well, get maliciously mistreated by the worst women in the history of humanity; and women in the “traditional” or disadvantaged communities, who for the most part like men and are willing to be good to men, get brutally abused by Eminem-influenced or Osama Bin Laden-influenced or Michael Murphy-influenced scum. In both cases, goodness gets punished and ugliness gets rewarded. In both cases, we see a horrendous injustice. And in both cases, we see a horrible wrong done.
What is the solution to this? Well there are several. One is for more women – and men – to have the guts to stand up to the usurpers who falsely claim to speak for them without them having voted to do so. I've done a lot to stand up to misogynists – real ones – and I've faced all sorts of harassment and slander for doing that. I do not give a damn about that; I know I'm doing the right thing, especially by my daughter, and I am willing to face the consequences. I've also stood up to misandrists – something for which I was ridiculously branded a misogynist – and I advocate that more women who are actually independent, strong and intelligent – as opposed to merely indoctrinated into the party line that falsely claims to speak for them without them having chosen for it to do so – stand up to these assholes as well.
Another is for more men and women who are willing to be good to one another to get together. This can be done especially through a lot of men from feminist cultures getting together with women from non-feminist cultures. That way men who are willing to treat women right will get together with women who are willing to treat men right and will create better relationships than what they stand to have at home.
Meanwhile the stranglehold of the usurpers on both sides will be broken; goodwill will be rewarded and incentivized; and the offending gender in either culture will have a real-world reason to improve their ways.
I want to see a death blow done to both actual misogyny and the so-called “political correctness.” I want to see such attitudes wiped off the face of the earth. I want the future generations to grow up in a world free of such convictions, where they can love and be loved and not fear brutality or malice. I want the usurpers on both sides disempowered and shamed out of all influence. And I want to see men and women come together in love and mutual goodwill to create better relationships and a better family life.
Is this too much to seek? No. There have been any number of people for whom this has worked – especially in the World War II generation – and it is up to my generation and the millennials to rebuild relationships from the sorry place in which baby boomers and gen-Xers have put them and into a blossoming. So far, I have seen any number of situations in my generation in which very fruitful man-woman relationships have been affectuated. It is wrong that women in such situations be patronized by the feminists and denied the right to their own conscious choices. A woman who chooses a “traditional” role consciously has as much the right to this choice as does the woman who wants a career; and a person who truly believes in women's right to choose for themselves will not stand in the way of such choices.
The closest thing I've had to an equal relationship was with Melanie, my former wife; and that's not the relationship that I keep remembering the most. The relationship that I remember the most was my first one, when I was 19, with a slightly older woman named Michelle whom I loved hugely and still do, even though we were together for only a short period of time and she is now dead. It was in no way an equal relationship. I was absolutely in love with her, and she had all the real power. And she used it for good, getting me into exercise and classical music and motivating me to improve myself in all sorts of ways.
The idea of gender equality was tried in 1990s; and for the most part it was a failure. Most women did not like that way of life at all, nor did it give them power. Women were put in a race where they were second and could only be second, while denying them the place where they were first. So I heard from a butch Lesbian feminist graduate student a number of years ago that the women in traditional cultures had more real power than contemporary women, as they were in control of reproduction and sex whereas the women these days are under complete control of what she called a “male-dominated business culture.” Is that true? I do not know if it is true. But I did not invent this, nor did I get it from the patriarchy. I got it from a butch Lesbian feminist graduate student.
So what I've seen a number of smart women do is not take part of the rat race. Instead they got together with men, whom they treat nicely, who in return love them and take care of them. Their children love them as well because they are good to them. Whereas feminist women have bred a bunch of Eminems who hate their mothers – rightfully – and then wrongfully generalize their hatred on the whole female gender and treat their non-feminist girlfriends and wives as if they were their feminist mothers. And this is where we find the world at this time.
What is the solution to this? Not equality – no, to hell with the damn equality, it's been a massive failure. The solution is for men and women to treat one another right. Not men's violence toward women nor women's verbal and legal viciousness toward men should be tolerated. Women should be taught to be good to men, men should be taught to be good to women, and both should be confronted in case that they are not.
I refuse to let scum like Eminem or the Ayatollah or Michael Murphy claim to speak for me as a man. And I also refuse to let scum like Catherine McKinnon and Andrea Dworkin claim to speak for my daughter, my sister or my grandmother. The gender wars are run by the worst in both women and men; and there is absolutely no reason in the world why any man – or any woman – should listen to either side. They are scum. They are trash. They are pulling a power trip. They have no right to speak for 50% of humanity, nor is there reason for 50% of humanity to name them their leaders. To hell with the whole lot of them.
Neither the men nor the women deserve to win the gender war. The only people who deserve to win anything are women – and men – who choose to act rightfully toward their partners. Both men and women are capable of choice; and anything capable of choice is capable of both right choice and wrong choice. It is wrong to side with either gender – and thus abet all the people within it who choose to act wrongfully while oppressing the other gender even in its capacity for good. It is right to side with those who choose to act rightfully – both men and women – and not only assist them in making positive relationships with each other but also in making these better values count in society.
Right now we see the worst possible behavior being rewarded in both women and men, and better attitudes punished. Men nearest the liberal centers of learning and culture, who for the most part believe in women's rights and wish women well, get maliciously mistreated by the worst women in the history of humanity; and women in the “traditional” or disadvantaged communities, who for the most part like men and are willing to be good to men, get brutally abused by Eminem-influenced or Osama Bin Laden-influenced or Michael Murphy-influenced scum. In both cases, goodness gets punished and ugliness gets rewarded. In both cases, we see a horrendous injustice. And in both cases, we see a horrible wrong done.
What is the solution to this? Well there are several. One is for more women – and men – to have the guts to stand up to the usurpers who falsely claim to speak for them without them having voted to do so. I've done a lot to stand up to misogynists – real ones – and I've faced all sorts of harassment and slander for doing that. I do not give a damn about that; I know I'm doing the right thing, especially by my daughter, and I am willing to face the consequences. I've also stood up to misandrists – something for which I was ridiculously branded a misogynist – and I advocate that more women who are actually independent, strong and intelligent – as opposed to merely indoctrinated into the party line that falsely claims to speak for them without them having chosen for it to do so – stand up to these assholes as well.
Another is for more men and women who are willing to be good to one another to get together. This can be done especially through a lot of men from feminist cultures getting together with women from non-feminist cultures. That way men who are willing to treat women right will get together with women who are willing to treat men right and will create better relationships than what they stand to have at home.
Meanwhile the stranglehold of the usurpers on both sides will be broken; goodwill will be rewarded and incentivized; and the offending gender in either culture will have a real-world reason to improve their ways.
I want to see a death blow done to both actual misogyny and the so-called “political correctness.” I want to see such attitudes wiped off the face of the earth. I want the future generations to grow up in a world free of such convictions, where they can love and be loved and not fear brutality or malice. I want the usurpers on both sides disempowered and shamed out of all influence. And I want to see men and women come together in love and mutual goodwill to create better relationships and a better family life.
Is this too much to seek? No. There have been any number of people for whom this has worked – especially in the World War II generation – and it is up to my generation and the millennials to rebuild relationships from the sorry place in which baby boomers and gen-Xers have put them and into a blossoming. So far, I have seen any number of situations in my generation in which very fruitful man-woman relationships have been affectuated. It is wrong that women in such situations be patronized by the feminists and denied the right to their own conscious choices. A woman who chooses a “traditional” role consciously has as much the right to this choice as does the woman who wants a career; and a person who truly believes in women's right to choose for themselves will not stand in the way of such choices.
posted by Ilya Shambat at 1:43 AM
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