Father Vs. Teacher

Much has been said about any number of conflicts that can take place at the family level; but there is one such conflict that I have not seen addressed. That is the conflict between the father and the teacher.

The father wants the child to be what he regards to be normal. But the teacher sees in the child an extraordinary ability and wants to encourage the child toward greatness. The father sees the teacher as being a threat to his authority over the child. He denigrates the child's accomplishments and says various ugly things. Other kids pitch in by saying such things as that academic knowledge is worthless and that all that matters in life is social skills and common sense, which they say he does not have.

The child takes the worst from all sides. He becomes both arrogant and tortured. He starts acting like a complete psycho. The father blames the teacher; the teacher blames the father. And when the child becomes an adult others blame him and call him such things as a narcissist or a sociopath, neither of which he is.

At the larger level, we see the same conflict play out between business world and the academia. We see many people complain that the academics are teaching things that are useless or wrong. They want to defund the academia and replace it with institutions that have their values. On some issues they are right. I see no reason at all why the taxpayer would want to support the institutions of political correctness and Third Wave feminism. However there is and always will be the need for science and education, and for the academia to exist and be adequately funded is crucial for the country.

What is the right way to solve these kinds of problems? Maybe it is for everyone to know the righful parameters of their role and to wield their power rightfully. The father does have the authority over the child, but he has to wield it rightfully. He cannot be dictating to the child how the child can live, nor can he be mistreating the child. As for the teacher, he has to recognize as well that he is not the child's father and to honor the legitimate parameters of the father's role.

I have a stepson, and I never attempted to replace his father as a father. I spent a lot of time with him, but I saw my role as mainly educational rather than parental. I taught him quite a lot, but I never took on the authoritative role in his life. I left such things to his mother and his father.

I am writing this mainly because I have not seen writing about these kinds of conflicts. Maybe attention should be paid to such a thing. Probably the only place where I have seen this addressed is the film Shine about an Australian pianist who was in this kind of a situation. And I think that more needs to be said about this, as it is obviously a source of problems for many people.