Responsibility And "Narcissism"

I once was seeing a counselor named Nancy. Nancy's message to me was that I needed to take responsibility for my life but that I could not be “grandiose.” What she did not understand was that, for me, “grandiose” goals are realistic. I was a child prodigy, and I finished University of Virginia when I was 18.

Now there have been some people portraying me as a bum; but I have not been bumming around. During the 1990s tech boom, I produced software that, to the best of my knowledge, is still being used. I have translated five books of classical Russian poetry (https://sites.google.com/site/ibshambat) and a bunch of Russian popular songs (https://sites.google.com/site/ibshambat/russian-songs) into English. And I have contributed original and interesting thought (https://sites.google.com/site/ilyashambatthought) on a range of subjects.

Now we have a lot of talk about “narcissism”; but according to the definition of the narcisstic personality disorder the world owes a lot to its narcissists. If it is narcissistic to seek great success, or if it is narcissistic to have original ideas, then most of the world's major contributors have been narcissists. This is especially the case with America. If there is such a thing as narcissism, then Rockefeller, Gates, Trump and any number of others have been narcissists. And if it is narcissistic to object to social authority, then the same would apply to the ancestors of all white people in the “New World,” who left their countries, their homes and their ways of life in order to seek freedom elsewhere. Do not claim that you are protecting your society if you are destroying what made it great – or even possible at all.

Is it wrong to be “grandiose”? While there are many people who would be better off with a humble role, there are others for whom such things are realistic. I do not seek to rule anyone, and I do not seek to kill anyone. I seek to contribute; and I have contributed in many different ways.

Does that mean that one should be – cruel, selfish, shallow? Absolutely not. It means that one should give what one has to give. Now there are any number of people who tried to convince me that what I was doing was useless; but it has been far from useless. My translations are being used in dissertations. As for my thought, it has applications in a number of pursuits, including ones as important as economics and politics.

So it is important that attitudes such as Nancy's be challenged. In my case she was simply wrong. Such people are also wrong in any number of other cases. My former wife, who was the youngest person at her time to have had her art exhibited at a major art exhibit in Melbourne, got attacked a lot for being an artist. However she has done some significant things – including a heroic thing that has cost her much danger and financial loss – for her country. She ended up contributing far more than the people who thought that they were “winners” and that she was a slut. She has done something heroic. And I have seen psychologists discourage people from striving for the heroic, when without heroism on the part of some people their country would not exist.

So then some of these people also advocate “positive thinking.” “Positive thinking” causes more problems than it solves. If you think positive, you fail to anticipate problems and you do foolish things. Being “positive” can make you attractive to other people. It will not however solve the world's problems. However positive you are, if you flood the atmosphere with carbon dioxide while cutting down the trees that absorb carbon dioxide, you will have problems. The “negative thinkers” have not caused these problems. The people who think in foolish ways have.

As for responsibility, I would not take talk of such a thing from people who've left the world a worse place than they have found. I would take talk of such a thing from people who are actually responsible. Responsibility is not correctly defined as having a huge house and a Hummer. Responsibility is correctly defined as leaving the world a better place than you have found it. And if all that is advocated is what these people see as responsibility, then we have problems.

It took me a lot of mental effort to deconstruct this person's garbage. I do not know about others, but in my case the wrong things that people say stick in my head until I refute them. I have done that with a number of things, and I hope that my efforts toward that effect also help others. We see many people with psychological skill pushing completely wrongful attitudes. And it takes someone who also has similar skills to deconstruct them and free people from their trash.