Monday, August 10, 2015
I've observed a
trend: Women of my generation getting together with baby boomer men.
It appears to work
in the best interests of both parties. The woman gets to be with a
man who is prosperous, non-violent and has wisdom; and the man gets
to feel young again and to have an attractive wife.
Now there are many
people who see men who go for younger women as scumbags. I did not
notice that; in fact the people I've seen involved in these matches
were far less likely to be scumbags than the average person. The
needs of the men and the women involved in such relationships are
complimentary with each other. And that makes for what I've seen to
be very good relationships.
As a man who's been
with a significantly older woman, I can say that this is a valid
pathway as well. Sure people may start claiming such things as that
the woman is the man's mother or whatever, but that does not prevent
the relationships from being beautiful. The woman provides the
wisdom, and the man provides the passion. And that results in wisdom
being affectuated, including in creating beautiful interaction
between the woman and the man.
Like cross-cultural
relationships, cross-age relationships reward the best in each side.
If a young woman can go to an older man – or a young man to an
older woman – then that rewards those who are willing to offer good
things in a relationship while putting an incentive on everyone else
to do as well. The more choices people have, the more there is a
reason for people to act rightfully in their relationships –
because, if they don't, the partner has other options than staying
with them or those like them.
So no, these men
aren't scumbags or “exploiters”; they are men who have something
to offer that the woman may legitimately want. Nor are older women
who go with much younger men “cradle-robbers”; they likewise have
something to offer that the man may legitimately want. The less these
kinds of distinctions matter, the more people can create workable
marital situations. And that will be good for them; it will also be
good for society.
Why will it be good
for society? Not only will this make a lot of people happy, but it
will also create an incentive on everyone else to treat their partner
rightfully – because, if they don't, the partner has other options.
And that will do more to improve the lot of women than any amount of
feminist rhetoric and more to improve family than any amount of
family values agitation.
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