Monday, August 10, 2015

Cross-Age Relationships

I've observed a trend: Women of my generation getting together with baby boomer men.

It appears to work in the best interests of both parties. The woman gets to be with a man who is prosperous, non-violent and has wisdom; and the man gets to feel young again and to have an attractive wife.

Now there are many people who see men who go for younger women as scumbags. I did not notice that; in fact the people I've seen involved in these matches were far less likely to be scumbags than the average person. The needs of the men and the women involved in such relationships are complimentary with each other. And that makes for what I've seen to be very good relationships.

As a man who's been with a significantly older woman, I can say that this is a valid pathway as well. Sure people may start claiming such things as that the woman is the man's mother or whatever, but that does not prevent the relationships from being beautiful. The woman provides the wisdom, and the man provides the passion. And that results in wisdom being affectuated, including in creating beautiful interaction between the woman and the man.

Like cross-cultural relationships, cross-age relationships reward the best in each side. If a young woman can go to an older man – or a young man to an older woman – then that rewards those who are willing to offer good things in a relationship while putting an incentive on everyone else to do as well. The more choices people have, the more there is a reason for people to act rightfully in their relationships – because, if they don't, the partner has other options than staying with them or those like them.

So no, these men aren't scumbags or “exploiters”; they are men who have something to offer that the woman may legitimately want. Nor are older women who go with much younger men “cradle-robbers”; they likewise have something to offer that the man may legitimately want. The less these kinds of distinctions matter, the more people can create workable marital situations. And that will be good for them; it will also be good for society.

Why will it be good for society? Not only will this make a lot of people happy, but it will also create an incentive on everyone else to treat their partner rightfully – because, if they don't, the partner has other options. And that will do more to improve the lot of women than any amount of feminist rhetoric and more to improve family than any amount of family values agitation.


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