Iago and Misogyny

Iago was an evil manipulator who made Othello deadly jealous of his beloved wife Desdemona, resulting in him killing her. I have always wondered why there are so many men – including better-natured men – who are terrible toward women. A large part of the reason is the Iagos of the world.

Now an Iago figure does not necessarily have to be overtly evil, although some are. There are others who sincerely hold misogynistic convictions and think that they are right to do so. Both the evil and the confused wield influence over other men; and they direct that influence into making sure that they behave in the worst possible manner.

What would an Iago tell a vulnerable man? One thing that he may do is get him to suspect his woman of doing something wrong. It is to build paranoia and hysteria, which destroy love and turn people toward fear and hatred. The favorite lie toward that is of course claiming that the woman is being unfaithful. Another is that she is practicing witchcraft or influencing the children in the wrong way.

Other lies are more general – that women are bitches and whores; that women are evil; that women are the source of the world's suffering; that man owes it to his gender to control women and is not a man unless he does so; and further on along the same line. These add an element of false righteousness to the hatred and make the man feel morally justified in being an abuser. In some scenarios I have seen, cases actually were made that being abusive toward women is the rightful thing to do, and that refusing to do so serves Satan.

It is these attitudes that must be confronted if anything effective is to be done about domestic violence. For as long as there are men who think this way, the abuse will always go on. And yes, it will even be perpetrated by some of the world's better men.

If you think that women are bitches, whores or evil, then the solution is not to be with a woman. But these men are playing a game. They get a lot out of the relationship with the woman. They get sex, they get companionship, they get a clean house and dinner, in many cases they get another source of income. And instead of rewarding the woman appropriately to what they are getting from her, they instead decide that she is a baddy and treat her like trash.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a game. And gamers have no business claiming to have morality.

The argument that women are responsible for the world's suffering is ridiculous. As we know from science, suffering – in the form of such things as disease and predation – pre-exists humanity by millions of years. Dinosaurs suffered too. And even if there was such a person as Eve, she does not speak for today's women, and it is completely wrong to be punishing today's women for something that they had nothing to do with. For that matter, I refuse to be made answerable for the sins of Jeffrey Dahmer, even though I, like him, am a man.

To the other argument – that man owes it to his gender to control women – the response is that nothing is owed to a gender. Things are owed to people who have been contributors to humanity, of which as many were women as were men, and of the men the best were socially liberal and hated violence against women. I owe nothing to the next man that I don't owe also to the woman. I refuse to identify with a gender. I want each gender to be their best and to get along.

The Iago element in society is alive and kicking, and it becomes up to the men of goodwill to stand up to it. I hope more people do so.