The Errors Of Ray Gordon

A long time ago, there was a poster on Google Groups who called himself Ray Gordon. His main contention was that women were stupid and evil and that men should play them. Other people mainly responded to him by saying that he was a narcissist.

To me, the issue that he was a narcissist means nothing whatsoever. According to the definition of the disorder, so are most of the world's greatest contributors. If it is narcissistic to seek great success or to have original ideas, then we owe vastly to narcissists. So that argument bears no currency with me at all.

Instead I seek to address his ideas. What he was right about was that women are capable of wrongful behavior. Well of course. Anything capable of choice is capable of wrong choice. That is the case both with women and with men.

But his solution – that men should play women – was completely wrong. Playing may work in getting casual sex, but in long-term relationships it is a complete disaster. The relationship starts with a lie. What can a lie not handle? Either the truth or any other competing fallacy. The process of defending a relationship that starts with a lie involves weaving an ever-more-ellaborate, ever-more-oppressive, and ever-more-ridiculous web of deceit. Eventually either the woman or the children learn to see through the deception. At which point one winds up with either a hateful wife or rebellious kids.

I am not addressing Ray Gordon's arguments based on what he is as a person. I am confronting them for their own intellectual demerit. What he recommends is an absolute disaster. And I want to warn anyone vulnerable to that kind of behavior from falling for it.

Playing is a rotten basis for a relationship and a far more rotten basis for family life. If you want to have a relationship or to start a family, then you need to do it with someone whom you respect. And if you do not respect anyone, then you should stay away from such things altogether.

Once again, the issue of what Ray Gordon is as a person means absolutely nothing to me. What matters is the wrongful quality of his ideas. I have been described as a narcissist myself, but I have much better views on this subject. And certainly if someone tries to play my daughter, he will hear from me.

So the player attitudes have to go. If all you want is casual sex, then by all means take Ray Gordon's advice. But if you want family or a long-term relationship, then see through this kind of nonsense. Get together with someone whom you can respect. And then you, your partner and your children will have a life that is worthy of being had.