"Sluts" And "Bitches"

I once knew a woman who said that, when she went to a club with her sister, she was flirting with men there and her sister called her a slut.

This should be examined a bit more.

If a woman is friendly and outgoing, she is seen as a slut. If a woman is not friendly and outgoing, she is seen as a bitch. Based on that definition, I would pick a slut any time.

If a woman is attractive, it is guaranteed that she will be attractive to other people besides yourself. It would take for her a will of steel to keep from falling for all the temptation that is out there. So you run a risk of having your woman be unfaithful. But think about it. Would you rather deal with that kind of thing? Or would you rather be dealing with a shrew?

In the baby boom generation, many women were what people now would regard to be sluts. In generation X, many were what people now would regard to be bitches. Once again, I would rather pick a slut over a bitch any time.

If you are friendly and outgoing, you run the risk of being seen as a slut. If you are not, many people will consider you to be a bitch. Which one, really, is worse?

My former boss once complained to me that he was “getting long in the tooth.” I told him that everyone gets old except the people who die young. I most certainly consider it wrong to worship youth and have contempt for old age. The people who take that stance deny themselves the input of people who have greater wisdom than do they. And that leads them to make various foolish decisions that mostly hurt themselves.

So whom do you want to be with: A woman who is friendly and outgoing and as such experiences lots of temptation? Or a woman who is nasty and mean-spirited and wants to make you her beast of burden and treat you like dirt? In one case, you will be running a risk of unfaithfulness. In the other case, you will be running the risk of being exploited and treated badly. Which one, really, is worse?

We will see various risks of malfeasance with various people. And the question that one needs to pose is, which risk is worse?

So we have had any number of men in history speaking badly of women. That is because they were applying to women impossible standards that no human woman could meet. Women, like men, are people. They are subject to various challenges and temptations. If you expect what you consider to be perfection, then you are going to be disappointed whomever you wind up with. If you are with a friendly and outgoing woman, you will be running the risk of infidelity. If you are with an unfriendly woman, you will be running the risk of being with a nagging wife.

In my situations, the choice is quite clear. I would much rather be with a “slut” than with a “bitch.” I have done lots of work on myself, and one of the things that I got rid of a long time ago was my tendency toward possessiveness. I can put up with marital infidelity; but I would not put up with being treated like dirt or constantly being run down.

I would not dream of dictating to other men what kind of relationships they can have. However it is important that they understand the possible challenges with whomever they choose to partner. A friendly and outgoing woman will be attractive to other men than themselves. A woman who is not friendly or outgoing will in many cases treat them badly.

So men need to go into either situations knowing of the perils that they will be likely to face. And then they can make the choice knowingly and deal with its consequences without becoming misogynistic or worse.