Better Ways to Deal With Unwanted Attention

There have been any number of people interested in me whom I did not want. I am what is known as “fagbait” but I am not gay. I also have been pursued by much older women, whom I likewise did not want.

Now I could have been a jerk about this and accused these people of “harrassment” or “stalking”; but I have better values than that. So instead, when pursued in this way, I think of what the person could want that she or he could have.

When I was working for a Lebanese food place, there was a woman there who was old enough to be my grandmother who wanted to get together with me. Now there was no way that I would have been available for that relationship; so instead I started thinking of what this woman could have that she would want. I figured out that she, having never been married or with kids, needed to be around children. So I advised her to become a babysitter and made up signs for her to put out around the neighborhood.

When someone feels that way about you, you have power over them; and it becomes imperative to use that power for good rather than for ill. I do not consider myself victimized by this kind of attention; if anything I find it flattering. If I am not available for this kind of attention, the least thing I want is to see the person come to a place where they can have something that they want. The result is being able to make a positive difference in someone's life – and that person coming to a better place.